I'm unaware of how long the wait will be until life starts to grow again, or does the darkness now forever run to the core?
I remember your advice; “Just keep on trying and never let them in, never let them know exactly how much it hurts.”
Down here it comes slow and sure every passing moment, it knows not to provide me with any rest, as in that I stand the chance of gaining some strength again.
Tubes of thought secure my lacklustre attempts to shake my mind clear of all the evil you filled me with.
I'm encased in the memories of the places I sat beside you, watching the tubes feed you while tending to the cuts along your arms, and across your face.
You did all of this to yourself and asked me to sit with you and watch. No one else saw these things, as you were sure it was only me that had to carry this horror.
You placed me exactly where you wanted and needed me when I was still only a child.
You stripped away the innocence of my youth and that can now never return.
I sit and watch the winter trees and think of you, it hurts so much but I am unable to let the memories go.
I'll wait and hope for spring and the possible chance of new life, but mainly for a faint pathway through the endless frost.